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Friday, July 22, 2005

don't forget, the 9:30 show is completely different than the 7:30 show. try the veal

I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our beloved couch, to ride out the storm of war, and to outlive the menace of tyranny, if necessary for years, if necessary alone. At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of The Daily Show fans-every man of them. That is the will of the [slightly crazy] people and the nation. The Comedy Central Empire and the common man, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their native couch, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength. Even though large tracts of Europe and many old and famous States have fallen or may fall into the grip of Produce Pete and all the odious apparatus of evil rule, we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in America (The Book), we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our couch, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this couch or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the fans of Great Moments in Punditry as Read by Children, would carry on the struggle, until, in This Week in God's good time, Stephen Colbert, with all his power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.

10 Comments:

Blogger Ms. Mika said...

HIP, HIP! HOORAY! HIP, HIP! HOORAY!

Onward Couch-ian Soldiers!

We will NOT go gentle into that good night!

I regret that I have but one life to "lay down" for my couch! :0)

"Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't.".

2:43 PM  
Blogger Teresa said...

Thats is so awesome that Jon Stewart mentioned this blog on his show!!!!

3:21 PM  
Blogger Oblivion_Key said...

wtf?......

3:44 PM  
Blogger Oblivion_Key said...

wtf?..........

4:10 PM  
Blogger Kim Plaintive said...

I'm all for bringing back the couch, but can you also please dedicate a little more editorial space to the get-rid-of-the-weak-ass-background campaign? Thanks.

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss the couch. The couch was my friend and kept me company on hot New York nights. The couch is far superior to the new kitchen-counter-looking desk.

BRING.

BACK.

THE.

COUCH.

(please)

4:24 PM  
Blogger Breanne said...

funny, yet strange! Good work!

10:45 AM  
Blogger Sneaky said...

I'm sorry to inform you that there is no Couch. Karl Rove fabricated the Couch to distract you from the real issues, primarily the armchair. It would appear that the armchair was selling weapons and confidential information to the syrian government, having an affair with a white house intern, and stealing a priceless piece of corporate art located outside a mall in Atlanta, Georgia. When questioned regarding these accusations, the couch stated that "Oh my god! Did you see that?!? The COUCH just jumped out of the bushes and sprinted into that alleyway!"

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